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Married Quotes

I hope you find value in these encouraging quotes about Married.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Related topics: Funny Cynical Marriage

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

That married couples can live together day after day
is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
- Bill Cosby

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced
so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married,
and another list of the reasons for their divorce,
you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
- Mignon McLaughlin

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom;
wait until they have been married longer.
- Edgar Watson Howe

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about,
he goes off and gets married.
- Robert Frost

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find
a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Never get married in the morning - you never know who
you might meet that night.
- Paul Hornung

One was never married, and that's his hell;
another is,
and that's his plague.
- Robert Burton

It's tough to stay married.
My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Caesar might have married Cleopatra,
but he had a wife at home.
There's always something.
- Will Cuppy

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
- Red Skelton

Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.
- Henry Ward Beecher

I've had an exciting time; I married for love and got
a little money along with it.
- Rose Kennedy

When you have a baby, love is automatic,
when you get married, love is earned.
- Marie Osmond

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles,
because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering
why Daddy was kissing someone else.
- Chevy Chase

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
- Henny Youngman

Married or unmarried, young or old, poet or worker,
you are still a dreamer, and will one time know,
and feel, that your life is but a dream.
- Donald G. Mitchell

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of
Commons until he is married.
- Benjamin Disraeli

When I get married, it'll be no secret.
- Elvis Presley

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

A man in love is incomplete until he has married.
Then he's finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I married beneath me, all women do.
- Nancy Astor

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

The only good husbands stay bachelors:
They're too considerate to get married.
- Finley Peter Dunne

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I met an American woman and got married so I had to get a job.
- Walter Wager

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is so much better when you're not married.
- Maria Callas

Married people from my generation are like an endangered species!
- Patrice Leconte

When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist,
and neither one would take the garbage out.
- Lee Grant

A married woman has the same right to control her own
body as does an unmarried woman.
- Sol Wachtler

I'm married to the theater but my mistress is the films.
- Oskar Werner

I married the first man I ever kissed.
When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.
- Barbara Bush

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men
for the criticism of one,
go ahead, get married.
- Katharine Hepburn

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start
if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard

What has the women's movement learned from Geraldine
Ferraro's candidacy for vice president? Never get married.
- Gloria Steinem

His words and music weren't just joined;
they were inseparably married.
- John Corry

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge

I think when an actress marries she should leave the stage.
She cannot be happy if she is married and remains on the stage.
She must care more for her art or for her husband.
- Billie Burke

When I married Paul, we lived in St John's Wood in London.
We had nice next-door neighbours, but you don't know anyone else.
Everyone lives in isolation.
- Linda McCartney

Always get married in the morning.
That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
- Mickey Rooney

A lawyer I once knew told me of a strange case,
a suffragette who had never married.
After her death, he opened her trunk and discovered 50 wedding gowns.
- Marguerite Young

Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.
Write down the advice of him who loves you,
though you like it not at present.
He that has no children brings them up well.
- Germaine Greer

If you are blessed, you are blessed,
whether you are married or single.
- Greta Garbo

There are some who want to get married and others who don't.
I have never had an impulse to go to the altar.
I am a difficult person to lead.
- Greta Garbo

I may as well say it, I have been married three times.
- C. L. R. James

If you want to know about a man you can find out an
awful lot by looking at who he married.
- Kirk Douglas

Before I married, I had three theories about raising
children and no children.
Now, I have three children and no theories.
- John Wilmot

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.
- Johnny Carson

On the night before we were married,
all of the anxiety in the world came down upon me.
- John Hawkes

I have married thriteen couples.
I'm about to do a marriage next month.
- Sally Kirkland

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors.
The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
- Edgar Watson Howe

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as
soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
- Clint Eastwood

This would be a much better world if more married couples
were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
- Earl Wilson

I married him for a green card.
We had a really great, caring relationship;
it just obviously wasn't right for me.
- Portia de Rossi

I was very young when we got married and I don't know
why it worked out like it did or how I was smart enough
to know that this was the right guy,
but somehow I got lucky.
- Kyra Sedgwick

I finally got a chance to talk to my daughter from my previous marriage.
I just got married May 3 to my beautiful wife,
but we don't see each other much.
- Peter Criss

For a married woman to flirt is a sin.
- Anna Held

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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