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Jokes Quotes

I hope you find value in these encouraging quotes about Jokes.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Friendship Relationship

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton

I don't make jokes.
I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers

 

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy,
and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
- Kathy Griffin

If you want anything done well, do it yourself.
This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
- Bob Edwards

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age,
telling the same joke again and again.
Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
- Simon Le Bon

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My dog was with me all the time.
I talked to my dog.
She was my best buddy.
I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think
I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
- Cathy Guisewite

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did
not understand some of the jokes.
- Desi Arnaz

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

It wasn't until I became more confident with myself
and I put myself forward instead of the jokes;
at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
- Wanda Sykes

Jokes are better than war.
Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars.
Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
- George Mikes

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
- Zac Efron

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.
- Martin Short

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
- Jim Fowler

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes,
including the ones one has heard before.
- Frank Dane

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting,
and there is no jovial companionship equal to that
where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
- Washington Irving

I guess they're tough jokes.
But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at.
And you just can't cry.
- Sam Kinison

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen,
see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman

You can trust a Neil Simon script.
Every dot.
Every dash; that pause means something.
He takes all the jokes out, practically.
- Hector Elizondo

If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now,
we would probably forget you were there,
we'd just be cracking jokes.
It's like Beavis and Butthead.
- Nikki Sixx

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
- Marilyn Monroe

The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show,
write all the dialog, and decide the mood,
action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.
- Craig McCracken

I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character,
the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
- Neil LaBute

Don't make jokes about food.
- David Lean

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers,
are the bond that keeps most families alive.
- Stella Benson

I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my
writing for the amusement of readers.
- Armistead Maupin

I love life in spite of all that mars it.
I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns.
I talk that way, so I write that way.
- Allan Sloan

My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy
of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads,
where they are safe.
- Emo Philips

The main jokes in this film are about big things,
love and life and zombies - we all get that.
- Simon Pegg

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion,
where you're allowed to make jokes.
I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
- Boy George

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you,
father.
- Mary Todd Lincoln

It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter.
Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation
than trying to make the English laugh.
- Malcolm Muggeridge

People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
- Sanaa Lathan

Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense.
And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.
- Judd Nelson

I like to hold the microphone cord like this,
I pinch it together, then I let it go,
then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
- Mitch Hedberg

A serious and good philosophical work could be written
consisting entirely of jokes.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

I can tell jokes.
I can talk to the audience.
I can relax.
I can change my songs whenever I want.
I can change the tempos.
I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
- Robert Goulet

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show.
People generally talk the way they talk in life if
you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens,
but also that's alive: they respond,
they're getting the jokes,
they're with me.
And that' s been happening.
- Dan Hicks

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
- Robert Frost

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny,
but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air.
So just answer my questions.
Seriously.
- Rob Corddry

I crack jokes and play games and that's really more
my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
- Laurence Sterne

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly -
constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour.
It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando

In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive
thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying
to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
- David Cross

The thing about all good horror movies is that the
fans expect a couple of inside jokes.
Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it,
but it was really fun.
- Margot Kidder

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
- Brad Garrett

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day,
your mind starts going to strange places.
- Seth MacFarlane

I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes.
I don't know how to tell jokes.
- Rainn Wilson

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer.
A comic tells bad jokes.
- Sandra Bernhard

It had more layers than an onion.
These writers meant business.
There was a level for everybody.
Your major could be celestial mechanics,
and there'd be celestial-mechanics jokes.
- Billy West

I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave.
I'm just a regular boy who goofs around,
pulls pranks, and makes jokes.
That doesn't sound very hot to me.
- Jensen Ackles

Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely
turn their backs on their historical dishes,
no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
- Nick Clooney

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school
because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
- Megan Fox

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
- Carrot Top

The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing,
and we laugh at our own jokes.
- Adrian Edmondson

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
- Eugene Ionesco

I never believe them when they say that because you
really have to sort of be aware of what's going on
in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
- Samantha Bee

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes,
the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
- John Lasseter

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes,
but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
- Mose Allison

The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change.
They stay the way they were in the past.
Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
- Corey Feldman

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent -
no jokes in it for the parents!
- Dick Bruna

The best ideas come as jokes.
Make your thinking as funny as possible.
- David Ogilvy

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes.
I want my life to mean something.
- Steve Harvey

I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even
common jokes as part of what I'm doing.
I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
- David Antin

Most jokes state a bitter truth.
- Larry Gelbart

Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy.
He plays a lot of practical jokes.
- Ashley Tisdale

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them.
For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes,
and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.
- Brian P. Cleary

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
- Drew Carey


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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