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Please enjoy these encouraging quotes by W. Somerset Maugham.
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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