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H.L. Mencken Quotes

Please enjoy these encouraging quotes by H.L. Mencken.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Cute Whimsey

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

 

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- H. L. Mencken

We are here and it is now.
Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
- H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;
as for me,
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being
good at billiards or golf.
- H. L. Mencken

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Every man is his own hell.
- H. L. Mencken

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
- H. L. Mencken

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
- H. L. Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
- H. L. Mencken

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
- H. L. Mencken

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in
terms of the not worth knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.
- H. L. Mencken

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

A man may be a fool and not know it,
but not if he is married.
- H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
- H. L. Mencken

In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought
and man from an open raft.
- H. L. Mencken

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
- H. L. Mencken

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

Most people want security in this world,
not liberty.
- H. L. Mencken

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
- H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is also a form of worship.
It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
- H. L. Mencken

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
- H. L. Mencken

Poetry has done enough when it charms,
but prose must also convince.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.
- H. L. Mencken

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
- H. L. Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
- H. L. Mencken

Time stays, we go.
- H. L. Mencken

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
- H. L. Mencken

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one,
as yet, is suspicious.
- H. L. Mencken

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon;
woman,
that she was born so long ago.
- H. L. Mencken

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
- H. L. Mencken

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
- H. L. Mencken

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
- H. L. Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
- H. L. Mencken

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- H. L. Mencken

Let's not burn the universities yet.
After all, the damage they do might be worse.
- H. L. Mencken


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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