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Carl Reiner Quotes

Please enjoy these encouraging quotes by Carl Reiner.

A lot of people like snow.
I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
- Carl Reiner

Related topics: Nature

I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.
- Carl Reiner

If you can get a laugh out of a name,
you're ahead of the game.
- Carl Reiner

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
- Carl Reiner

 

Everybody wants to laugh - you know that.
They need to laugh...
people need to laugh.
- Carl Reiner

It's like a bird.
If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.
- Carl Reiner

I think that comedy really tells you how it is.
The other thing about comedy is that -
you don't even know if you're failing in drama,
but you do know when you're failing in comedy.
When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing,
you know that you've failed.
- Carl Reiner

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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them,
but they riff.
- Carl Reiner

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills,
but I don't think you can develop a funny bone -
you either have it or you don't.
And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.
- Carl Reiner

Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

I must dedicate my life to teaching my people,
for only education would make their lot less bitter,
their latent power more strong.
- Jimmy Yen

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein

Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
- John Lennon

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
- Groucho Marx

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
- Anonymous

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
- Kevin Nealon

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

It takes a lot of work to put together a marriage,
to put together a family and a home.
- Elizabeth Edwards

The cars we drive say a lot about us.
- Alexandra Paul

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot
of money even to be defeated.
- Will Rogers

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else,
and we strive to swim on top.
- Joan Rivers

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married,
and another list of the reasons for their divorce,
you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
- Mignon McLaughlin

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Beauty has a lot to do with character.
- Kevyn Aucoin

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball.
Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood
why fans are so obsessed with them.
- Hank Aaron

I've had two proposals since I've been a widow.
I am a wonderful catch, you know.
I have a lot of money.
- Ruth Rendell

I know a lot of people think I'm dumb.
Well, at least I ain't no educated fool.
- Leon Spinks

Well tended garden is better than a neglected wood lot.
- Dixie Lee Ray

It's easy to make a buck.
It's a lot tougher to make a difference.
- Tom Brokaw

When I was a teenager, I read a lot of Poe.
- Dario Argento

A lot of people get impatient with the pace of change.
- James Levine

I love spaghetti and meatballs...
I eat a lot.
- Susan Lucci

Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers.
- Janis Joplin

I'm a '70s mom, and my daughter is a '90s mom.
I know a lot of women my age who are real computer freaks.
- Florence Henderson

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
- Andy Rooney

The big difference between sex for money and sex for
free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
- Brendan Behan

I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health.
I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.
- Zach Braff

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club.
You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
- Erma Bombeck

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake.
- Alfred Hitchcock

It was an honor and privilege to arrive to this country
16 years ago with almost no money in my pocket.
A lot has happened since then.
- Antonio Banderas

A fool and his money get a lot of publicity.
- Al Bernstein

And after I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office.
- Christy Romano

If people are good only because they
fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- Albert Einstein

You may think the president is all-powerful,
but he is not.
He needs a lot of guidance from the Lord.
- Barbara Bush

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars.
The rest I just squandered.
- George Best

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper.
About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer
is garbage that no one ever reads.
- Andy Rooney

If you just watch a teenager, you see a lot of uncertainty.
- Jamie Lee Curtis

Growing up, I didn't have a lot of toys,
and personal entertainment depended on individual ingenuity and imagination -
think up a story and go live it for an afternoon.
- Terry Brooks

We all have dreams.
But in order to make dreams come into reality,
it takes an awful lot of determination,
dedication, self-discipline, and effort.
- Jesse Owens

I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters -
I'm from an all female family.
My father often quips that even the cat was neutered!
- Shirley Manson

As athletes, we're used to reacting quickly.
Here, it's 'come, stop, come, stop.' There's a lot of downtime.
That's the toughest part of the day.
- Michael Jordan

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club,
they'd starve to death.
- Sam Snead

My experiences have taught me a lot and I'm happy with my learnings,
if not with what I went through to learn.
- Ally Sheedy

I'm afraid I talk a lot, too much, perhaps.
I should have been a lawyer or a college professor or a windy politician,
though I'm glad I am not any of these.
- Tom Glazer

For a lot of people, the weekly paycheck is 'take-home
pay' because home is the only place they can afford to go with it.
- Charles A. Jaffe

If I could only have one type of food with me,
I would bring soy sauce.
The reason being that if I have soy sauce,
I can flavor a lot of things.
- Martin Yan


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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