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Artie Lange Quotes

Please enjoy these encouraging quotes by Artie Lange.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
- Artie Lange

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
- Artie Lange

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.
- Artie Lange

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes
you don't drink in moderation.
- Artie Lange

 

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
- Artie Lange

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m.,
but that was to buy angel dust.
- Artie Lange

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking.
- Artie Lange

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
- Artie Lange

Of course in show business there are two ways to play
it and I am not politically correct so I am not going
to get endorsements or anything like that.
- Artie Lange

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is
just like being a born-again Christian.
- Artie Lange

The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is
a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day.
But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh
and those guys still have him on in the morning,
because he is a real talent.
- Artie Lange

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did,
most depressing thing ever.
People have websites hoping I die at 38.
- Artie Lange

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired.
I don't plan on working that long.
- Artie Lange

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote.
I got the money to do it, and I would star and all,
because of being on Howard.
- Artie Lange

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one
job where you could be really honest and open,
almost like Richard Pryor or something.
You can be honest about your life and get laughs.
- Artie Lange

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now,
Howard Stern, has a similarity there.
He got big being a regular guy.
He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.
- Artie Lange

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings,
you might say.
- Artie Lange

I am not the easiest guy to live with.
It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
- Artie Lange

As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Giving money and power to government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P. J. O'Rourke

As they say around the Texas Legislature,
if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women,
take their money, and vote against 'em anyway,
you don't belong in office.
- Molly Ivins

I can't drink whiskey like I used to back then,
that's for sure.
- Sebastian Bach

Whiskey is all right in its place - but its place is hell.
- Billy Sunday

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death,
where is thy sting?
- W. C. Fields

I used to like whiskey.
But it's been a long time since I've been drunk.
- Claude Williams

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite
and furthermore always carry a small snake.
- W. C. Fields

Whiskey - I like it, I always did, and that is the reason I never use it.
- Robert E. Lee

I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey.
And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobacco.
- Babe Ruth

Bernard always had a few prayers in the hall and some
whiskey afterwards as he was rather pious.
- Daisy Ashford

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times,
women and Irish Whiskey.
The other ten percent I'll probably waste.
- Tug McGraw

Every article I see is dope this, junkie that,
whiskey this - that ain't my title.
- Layne Staley

We got more provisions for our whiskey than the same money,
which we paid for the liquor, would have bought;
so after all it proved a very profitable investment.
- Buffalo Bill

The tools I need for my work are paper,
tobacco, food, and a little whiskey.
- William Faulkner

Americans are big boys.
You can talk them into almost anything.
Just sit with them for half an hour over a bottle of
whiskey and be a nice guy.
- Nguyen Cao Ky

I like whiskey.
I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
- Robert E. Lee

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold.
- Jerry Vale

They say some of my stars drink whiskey,
but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
- Casey Stengel

Whiskey's to tough, Champagne costs too much,
Vodka puts my mouth in gear.
I hope this refrain, Will help me explain,
As a matter of fact, I like beer.
- Tom T. Hall

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when
taken in too large quantities.
- Lord Dunsany

I'm a simple man.
All I want is enough sleep for two normal men,
enough whiskey for three, and enough women for four.
- Joel Rosenberg

We sat around and I fed them barbecue and whiskey.
And pretty soon everyone started to compete with each other on the guitars.
It seemed the more everyone drank and ate,
the more everyone got into it.
- Gary Allan

The best cure for our own self-inflicted suffering
is often service to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is the great miracle cure.
Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- Louise L. Hay

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Prevention is better than cure.
- Desiderius Erasmus

We may have found a cure for most evils;
but we have found no remedy for the worst of them all,
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Understanding does not cure evil,
but it is a definite help,
inasmuch as one can cope
with a comprehensible darkness.
- Carl Jung

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
- Benjamin Franklin

To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is,
a dissatisfaction with self.
- Joan Didion

Objectivity is the cure for depression.
- Bono

The only cure for grief is action.
- G. H. Lewes

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell

We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional

There is still no cure for the common birthday.
- John Glenn

Worry is spiritual short sight.
Its cure is intelligent faith.
- Paul Brunton

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure.
- Francesco Petrarch

Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino

I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
- George Santayana

You can die of the cure before you die of the illness.
- Michael Landon

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed
to cure a person in love.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

There is nothing wrong with America
that faith, love of freedom, intelligence,
and energy of her citizens cannot cure.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The doctor has been taught to be interested not in health but in disease.
What the public is taught is that health is the cure for disease.
- Ashley Montagu

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease
and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
- Victor Borge

A severe though not unfriendly critic of our institutions
said that the cure for admiring the House of Lords
was to go and look at it.
- Walter Bagehot

Selfishness must always be forgiven you know,
because there is no hope of a cure.
- Jane Austen

I cannot cure myself of that most woeful of youth's follies -
thinking that those who care about us will care for
the things that mean much to us.
- David Herbert Lawrence

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap.
It's a total turn-off.
- Doug Coupland

This syndrome, SARS, is now a worldwide health threat...
The world needs to work together to find its cause,
cure the sick and stop its spread.
- Gro Harlem Brundtland

Capital punishment is as fundamentally wrong as a cure
for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty.
- Henry Ford


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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