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Art Buchwald Quotes

Please enjoy these encouraging quotes by Art Buchwald.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

Related topics: Funny Cynical

You can't make up anything anymore.
The world itself is a satire.
All you're doing is recording it.
- Art Buchwald

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday...
I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me -
Homeland Security.
- Art Buchwald

I always wanted to get into politics,
but I was never light enough to make the team.
- Art Buchwald

 

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
- Art Buchwald

I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
- Art Buchwald

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American.
Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.
- Art Buchwald

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough,
they will make you a member of it.
- Art Buchwald

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be.
Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans
are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
- Art Buchwald

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb,
a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
- Art Buchwald

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times,
it's the only time we've got.
- Art Buchwald

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have
been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things
that haven't been taxed before.
- Art Buchwald

So far things are going my way.
I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die.
I don't know if this is true or not,
but I think some people,
not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.
- Art Buchwald

Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions

Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series

Television has brought back murder into the home -
where it belongs.
- Alfred Hitchcock

To deny the facts would be illogical.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)

I think people have a vague sense that the television system is changing.
- Michael K. Powell

Television is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The car trip can draw the family together,
as it was in the days before television when parents
and children actually talked to each other.
- Andrew H. Malcolm

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
- Fred Allen

Many of our own people here in this country do not ask about computers,
telephones and television sets.
They ask - when will we get a road to our village.
- Thabo Mbeki

Thanks to television, for the first time
the young are seeing history made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people
than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour
looking at my face on their television screens.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films
when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?
- Samuel Goldwyn

Television is democracy at its ugliest.
- Paddy Chayefsky

Most of my life I was occupied with American television and American food.
My ethnicity was my choice.
It still is.
- Isaac Mizrahi

Even though the vast majority of my work was outside television,
the amount of creation and inventing that went into
the TV shows was non stop and,
unknown to me, a great strain.
- Paul Daniels

I did honest television.
Real, live, honest television.
That's what I did best.
- Greg Garrison

Television is an instrument which can paralyze this country.
- William Westmoreland

Television has spread the habit of instant reaction
and stimulated the hope of instant results.
- Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.

And so I was doing that and starving and somebody said
you should model and I ran when they told me how much
money you could make and I did a television commercial the first job.
- Sela Ward

Animation did not become the dominant form of children's
television until the '60s.
- Annette Funicello

I don't watch television.
- Ray Walston

And also there wasn't much money in television in those days anyhow.
- Jim Henson

Internet mailing lists are like Fox television shows.
They have really cool previews, and they get you all excited about them,
but they just don't live up to their promises.
- John Dobbin

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of
television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
- Johnny Carson

It's a word called symbiotic, you send the messages
and it comes back in return.
Together, it's a wonderful thing, it's why television
is so great and film can never reach.
- Robert Stack

I have no television - I hate it.
- Patricia Highsmith

If anything, I want to bring television back up to
where it will entertain and engage a gamer.
- Michael Ironside

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring
so much about having close relationships.
- Andy Warhol

Radio, newspapers, they were normal parts of my life.
In those days, you had to go somewhere to watch television
and leave something to see it.
- Robert Redford

In television, women can really run anything.
It can be a comedy, it can be a drama,
it can be genre, it can be anything.
But in films, women are still getting to the top.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

Local television news, on both radio and television,
is so appalling.
Makes print journalism look like the greatest stuff ever written.
- Robert McChesney

I hate to mention age, but I come from an era when
we weren't consumed by technology and television.
- Jimmy Buffett

Many people think I'm a television personality.
I never have been!
Just someone who acts it.
- Graham Kennedy

Television is now the dominant factor in the lives
of too many American children.
- Paul Weyrich

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.
- Larry Gelbart

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
- Ann Landers

We don't perceive a contradiction between writing books,
making films or producing a television program.
These days you can't choose how you want to express yourself anymore.
- Alexander Kluge

I'd love to star in a television series of my own.
I love the idea of living with a character for a number of years,
watching him grow.
- Michael Dorn

When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got
on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed.
He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'
- Joe Biden

I think that probably the - I don't give quotes to studios.
They have to get those out of the paper or from television.
So they wouldn't have had my quote opening day.
- Roger Ebert

I still do television.
I don't care.
I just want to work.
I love to work.
I want to do 500 movies.
- Brion James

I don't think we use television the way we should or
the way the inventors intended.
- Will McDonough

It never occurred to me that I'd be on a television
show or in feature films but when those came into play
my dreams changed along the way.
- Camryn Manheim

There are days when any electrical appliance in the house,
including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment
possibilities than the television set.
- Harriet Van Horne

All television is educational television.
The question is: what is it teaching?
- Nicholas Johnson

I liked television, and television liked me.
- Joel Siegel

We decided we didn't want to do a musical for TV because
the idea of writing a musical that would be seen on
television once seems insane.
- Neil Tennant

Television is not the exclusive target of promoters.
Is Superman really worthy of a Newsweek cover?
- Phil Donahue

These days politics, religion, media seem to get all mixed up.
Television became the new religion a long time back
and the media has taken over.
- Van Morrison

It is about this very abstract sense of displacement
that he feels the moment he turns off the television.
- Atom Egoyan

I was one of the first generations to watch television.
TV exposes people to news, to information,
to knowledge, to entertainment.
How is it bad?
- Tom Clancy

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

Women didn't want to watch other women on television
because they were jealous of their husbands' diverted attention.
- Jessica Savitch

Right now, more people enjoy movies,
music,
television and movies than they do video games.
- J Allard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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